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Relationship

6 Things Men Do That Make Them Less Attractive

6 Things Men Do That Make Them Less Attractive

6 Things Men Do That Make Them Less Attractive

Being attractive is so much more than a filtered selfie taken with your new selfie stick. We all want to be as potentially attractive as we possibly can. So many of us become fixated on physical appearance that we forget that what meets the eye is only a part of being attractive. Beneath the physical presence, there are quite a few factors that contribute to one’s attractiveness. For men, there are some very easy fixes to becoming more attractive. There are many subtle things you can do to improve your look.

6 Things Men Do That Make Them Less Attractive

Displaying Self Confidence

For men, taking up space actually displays confidence and assertiveness. Of course, you should not confuse “taking up space” with “getting in the way.” There is nothing less attractive than someone awkwardly in the way. By taking up space, it is suggested that a strong stature can be recognized by opening up your body. For example, when sitting, open your legs slightly and drape your arm along the length of the back of the couch. Claim your territory. This is a subtle way of displaying your self-confidence with your body language. Be careful not to “sprawl” as this can be viewed as unattractive. Remember, everything in moderation. Just make more of a presence rather than arm crossing or curling inward. Leave your torso open and legs uncrossed and you will appear attractively approachable.

Stop Fidgeting

If you are a “fidgeter”, learn to stop immediately. Not only is fidgeting annoying and disruptive, it also displays lack of self-control. Being able to appear composed will certainly add a bit of “cool” to your look. It is easier for people to talk to you if you look more collected. If you are a shifter, lean on something. When you speak, speak more deliberately and tuck your hands in your pockets if need be. Too much movement not only makes you look nervous but also can make the listener feel uncomfortable.

Connect With Your Eyes

Connecting with your eyes builds trust and exhilarates confidence. Meeting eye contact with someone often is a fool proof way to build attraction. However, you must be careful with this technique. If you catch eyes with the one in which you are trying to gain he attraction from, allow them to notice that you are looking at them. Then, look away moving your eyes to either side. If you look away by looking down, you can look submissive and unconfident. In addition to the brief eye contact, a quick smile will definitely ensure a positive reaction.

Look Like You

Being confident with your own look opposed to down playing your “not so favorable” features can actually be more attractive than trying to conceal them. Wearing your look with confidence, accompanied by a great attitude can carry you much further than filtering your selfies. When it comes to your physical attributes, keep in mind that what is attractive to one may differ from what is attractive to another. Therefore, wearing your true colors and a smile may be the most appealing thing about you to the right person.

Hygiene

Make hygiene your favorite jeans to wear. No one really likes the feel of a sand shark rubbing against their face. No one would lay in bed with a cactus. With this being said, gents, get yourself a reliable pair of clippers and a good shaver for your face. Not to say that facial hair is not attractive, but man-scaping is a must. Keeping yourself tidy supports the idea that you have organizational and stability qualities within. Your breath and body odor matter too! Just because you cannot smell it yourself does not mean your breath is odorless. There is no harm in keeping a travel bottle of mouth wash and a pack of gum on hand for security. If your breath has a foul odor, one may assume the rest of your body may follow suit. This is never a good look. So keep yourself fresh. There is not greater smell than a freshly showered man lying next to you in the bed. If you are not getting the cuddle time you were looking for, consider a quick rinse.

Bodily Noises

Guys, it is not cool anymore if you can belch the loudest. It isn’t funny to release SBDs (silent but deadlies) with the windows up. These things are huge turn offs actually. It is gross and honestly over a course of time, can really run a toll on your attractive factor scale. Making obnoxious bodily noises is viewed as rude and inappropriate. Women do not like this type of thing at all. She could be lusting after her every thought of you all day long but if you belch like a beast when you walk in from work, your chances of bedroom chemistry just dropped to zero. You most definitely should consider some sort of recourse.

No matter if you are married for twenty years or single and ready to mingle, all of these factors should be considered. Clearly if you are single, you are trying to ensure your appeal to rest of the single world. Taking this advice into consideration will help your along your dating path. If you are married, do not let it all go to the wayside. If you consistently make unattractive gestures, you may soon find your sex life in the dumpster. So keep up with your man-scaping, keep your bodily functions and noises private and put your most confident foot forward. Take up a little space without the mistake of sprawling to ensure your presence is recognized and limit your movements and fidgeting. Appearing to be cool is a very good look for anyone.

Doctornerdlove

Categories
psychology Relationship

6 Must-Know Flirting Techniques That No Man Can Resist

6 Must-Know Flirting Techniques That No Man Can Resist

6 Must-Know Flirting Techniques That No Man Can Resist

This is to all the single ladies. Nowadays, we know how difficult it is to snag a decent mate, much less even find ourselves outside of the dating-game to even start something serious. This is often a source of extreme stress for ladies, especially if we know we aren’t lacking any good graces that would hinder us from landing a little piece of a prince charming. But if you find yourself still single, or still out and about trying to snag a decent man, here are six scientifically proven dating tips that are sure to get the attention of someone special in no time!

Flirting Techniques That No Man Can Resist

Here are 6 Must-Know Flirting Techniques That NO Man Can Resist:

Tip 6
Warm drinks are excellent starters. If you’re idea of a first date consists of cold beer or some iced cocktails, think again. Men like to be asked out, it may be better to invite the guy you like out for a cup of coffee or tea. Yale University researchers have discovered that warm drinks (irrespective of the type) can actually help to alter an individual’s perception of another person. The studies have shown that warm drinks evoke feelings of affection because they’re hardwired equivalents to generosity and care in our minds.

Add this up to the invitation for caffeinated drinks which help to enliven conversation, or for a cup of hot cocoa which evokes feelings of romance, and you’re hotwired in for something rewarding with your date!

Tip 5
Make eye contact and be generous with your smile. Guys like open, friendly women. Come to think of it, all people in general like others who are open and friendly. This being a given, don’t be a grouch or too reserved when it comes to your smile. Bridge contact by cementing a solid interest in what your date is trying to convey by making eye contact. If he does something that you like, or if you simply want to see him smile back, flash those pearly whites!

Several psychological studies have proven that open, easy-going people who actually signal their interest or availability through body language catch more looks and are approached more often.

Tip 4
Be the lady in red. It seems like a fashion cliché, but subtle hints like color or attire can affect the outcome of a date and a person’s perception of an individual. Sure, deep down we aren’t that shallow, and we expect our date not to be as well. However, if you want to catch a man’s eye, wear a red dress, or at least some red lipstick.

A scientific study conducted at the University of Rochester discovered that men found ladies in red to be marginally more attractive than ladies who sported other colors. But you don’t have to be bull’s bait to pull of this effect, since even a little red lipstick or well-manicured red nails can do wonders to compliment your appearance.

Tip 3
Strike up conversation. This seems like a no-brainer, but for some women this can prove to be difficult. While talking about you might seem like a good way to ‘strike up conversation’, turn the tables around and talk about your date. This not only marks him as something of interest, which is a major turn-on for men, it also comes out as a caring and generous way of genuinely wanting to know more about him. And, it doubles as a great way to see if they fit your general profile of ‘Mr Right’ or ‘Mr Wrong’! Make sure you apply tip number five along with this one for added benefits.

Tip 2
Be direct and upfront, and don’t be afraid to get touchy-feely. It’s well known that men don’t like women who play notoriously hard to get. If you find that you’re interested in someone, tell them. Men are attracted to women who smack of confidence and assertiveness. Also, don’t be afraid to get touchy-feely, literally. It’s considered social influence. A scientific journal on social interactions and their psychological effects stated that even a simple touch to the arm, the shoulder, the waist or the forearm immediately conveys the message of interest for more than ‘friendship’-level interaction.

It would be wise to note however that this tip goes both ways – if you get touchy-feely with your date, be generous enough to let him touch you back. If you want, be creative with where your hands caress and, with enough chemistry, you’re sure to see fireworks.

Tip 1
Be open and convivial. We’ve covered how being an attentive listener is a sure-fire way to catch a man’s interest, but men aren’t one-way streets. Be open to them, but choose the topics that you’re open about wisely, gleaning from what they themselves have been generous enough to share with you. Men naturally gravitate towards others who share similar interests with them. If you find that you have something in common, work on that! Swap ideas, share, and simply be open about things you like or don’t like. Granted, don’t talk exes, problems or emotional woes on the first date. Doing this, you are sure to quit the dating game and land yourself your coveted significant other in no-time!

Sources, Sources, Sources

Categories
Relationship

6 Signs You’re Mothering Your Man A Bit Too Much

6 Signs You're Mothering Your Man A Bit Too Much

6 Signs You’re Mothering Your Man A Bit Too Much

Just like some men are more dominating or assertive, so are some women. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior can wreak havoc on a romantic relationship if it’s not kept under control. A man has already lived his childhood once. The last thing most want is to relive it in adulthood by having their woman mother them. Here are six signs that you’re mothering your man too much.

6 Signs You're Mothering Your Man A Bit Too Much 1

1. He Lets You Play Mommy

Is your man comfortable letting you do all of the housework? It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a lazy jerk. If this is new behavior, you’ve likely trained him into it. This happens when you take everything over because you insist on having it done your way.

2. Burning the Midnight Oil

When you realize your man is working late on a regular basis, your first thought is probably that he’s cheating on you. It’s more likely that he’s trying to avoid confrontation. He might be out having a drink with his friends you don’t like, or doing other things he enjoys that you regularly criticize.

3. You Say “It’s Like Having A Child”

If you feel that way, you’re mothering him. This comment is offensive to any adult. Imagine how you’d feel if he said that about you. Saying that being with him is like having a child says that you not only see him as irresponsible, incompetent and untrustworthy.

6 Signs You're Mothering Your Man A Bit Too Much

4. He’s Become Ambivalent

Is it starting to seem like your man can’t make any decisions himself? Does he expect you to make all the plans? Unfortunately, this is the result of you spearheading everything you do as a couple. Eventually, he’ll decide it’s not worth risking an argument and stop bothering.

5. Incessant Nagging

Nagging is the most common cause of relationship failures, and it’s no surprise. Ladies, just because he didn’t run to the kitchen the moment you asked him to do the dishes doesn’t mean he’s ignoring you. Harping just makes him feel like he’s back under his mother’s reign.

6. You Control Everything

Trying to mold your man into someone he’s not by deciding what he wears, who his friends are, where he goes and how he does things is immensely controlling. It sends the message that you’re not happy with him as a person, he’s not good enough and that you own him. It also says that you feel he’s not intelligent or grown-up enough to make his own choices or do anything right.

Relationships can be hard, and they take effort. Part of this effort means controlling our tendencies to exert our will over our partners. If you’re worried you’re mothering your man too much, take steps to stop these behaviors. You’ll both be happier and healthier for it in the long run.

Categories
Relationship

Top 10 Qualities Men Have That Drive Women Crazy

Top 10 Qualities Men Have That Drive Women Crazy

Top 10 Qualities Men Have That Drive Women Crazy

Yes, my dear, I can agree! Understanding what women want in a man can be a very complicated undertaking. One time she is complaining about a small feature of your character, only later to remain positively crazy about it! We are difficult to understand. However, dear men, I have some good news for you! There are certain factors which drive most women crazy. I’m going to reveal these qualities to help you uncover the mystery that is the unexplained female mind.

1. Manliness

No matter how much today’s culture, fashion, and habits blur the definition of what it means to be a man, I can assure you women love your masculine side, even if you happen to wear skinny jeans and want an overpriced haircut. The same as when you are usually attracted to a woman’s feminine side, women love when you think, feel, and act like a man. Don’t shy away from your male interests. If you can help her to repair her bike or move a heavy wardrobe she will typically be attracted to your brute strength, which is a huge point for you!

2. Confidence

A man doesn’t have to be the most handsome in the world, but if he carries himself with certainty and conviction, openly expresses his opinion and, in general, is not afraid of a beautiful woman, it’s very attractive. Never think that any woman is out of your league, since it will show in your insecure behavior. Have your own opinion and don’t be afraid to show it, even with the most attractive woman. Women like challenges and every woman with healthy self-esteem will get bored of a man who follows her opinions too eagerly.

Top 10 Things Men Do That Drive Women Crazy__1437008605_173.199.221.90

3. Decisiveness

As females, we already have many complexities to make up in our minds. It’s not that we want to annoy you; it’s that our minds are changing quickly! In one hour we can be happy about an idea, only later to completely change our attitude about the same idea. Many females, including myself, are doing very well in our lives. Yet, when it comes to making a simple, unimportant choice we cannot finalize our decision! Always have a backup plan, such as what to do and where to take us. We love a man who can decide whenever we cannot decide for ourselves. Next time, when a woman asks you what to do or where to go, don’t be afraid to take the initiative.

4. Listening

Women are often, let’s say, talkative creatures. I can agree that it might be a bit annoying to listen all the time to a detailed description of our emotional states, a fresh update of what we bought on sale, or our opinion about another woman nearby. I notice that many men develop the ability to switch on listening from their daily routines. If you want to impress a woman show her that you can listen to her! Follow the conversation and demonstrate that you concentrate on what she is saying. Maintain complete eye contact with her while she speaks. Forget about your phone!

5. Muscles

For some reason, men fall into the preconceived notion that woman love men who spend hours working out at the gym and wind up looking like over inflated balloons. That’s not true in most cases. We want you to look healthy, sporty, and strong. However, it’s much better when you gain these muscles from maintaining a healthy lifestyle from running, climbing, sailing, or any passion related to sport. Some sweat after an outdoor activity is the lovely thing possible!

6. Desire

Who wouldn’t feel flattered if another person felt attractive enough with them? If you think the woman you are dating is hot, don’t feel shy to express it! Women adore it when men confidently display their love side. Show her your desire! Grab her leg or ass when nobody sees, or whisper how hot her breasts look in her tight fitting blouse. If you speak with confidence, in a private manner and with respect, we will love it! Even at the beginning of dating you can still express your desire by inadvertently touching her or sweetly kissing her lips. Otherwise, she may ask herself, “Does he think I’m ugly or fat?”

7. Assertiveness

Does it make you wonder how a badly written book like 50 Shades of Grey became so popular? Why do bored housewives suddenly sneak reading mesmerizing paragraphs about violent love-making in between their household duties? Most women like to be a bit dominated in bed! I’m not telling you to suddenly wear leather pants and go out and buy a whip, but giving confident commands in bed or being more assertive about what she should do is definitely hot! A woman wants to know that her man is physically attracted to her and attraction entails leadership. This means that you should take the lead during love-making.

8. Passion

On one hand, we love when men spend time with us, are attentive, and have patience to wait on us, but this routine can get tiresome and dull. We would never openly admit it, but we like to feel that our man is very busy, but can put aside his routine and make us a priority in his schedule. Consequently, his time is more valuable to us. Even if you are madly attracted to a woman, make sure that you keep yourself busy with your own passions and work. A man who is sitting on the couch and watching football or playing video games can be cute, but only for a day or two.

9. Attention

I know that it’s easy to get confused with daily appointments and life events, but try to keep track of what’s important for your relationship. I’m not just talking about your anniversary or her birthday, but follow her personal matters and life. If she tells you that she had a significant engagement, remember to ask her how it went. If she had a business meeting earlier in the day, ask her to tell you about it. If she is in school and she had a tough exam, start a conversation about this subject. If you know she’s not feeling well, run a bath for her. Remember to pay attention to her.

10. Humor

I put this topic in the end because it can make or break a relationship. Confidence and a sense of humor are probably the most desired qualities in a man! I once heard, “if you can make her laugh, you can make her fall in love.” There is definitely something to this! Women absolutely LOVE when a man is a little comical and doesn’t take himself so seriously all the time. Humor pulls your woman closer to you and keeps her interested.

Sarah Williams is a freelance writer that is passionate about psychology. After several relationships and a LOT of dates, she shares her dating tips for men on Wingman Magazine . After all, she is just a hopeless romantic trying to figure it all out.

Categories
Depression Facts happiness health psychology

What is Assertiveness

What is Assertiveness

What is Assertiveness
By: Andres Carvajal
Edited By: Stephanie Dawson

About Assertiveness

Assertiveness is one of many social or interpersonal skills. One definition is ¨the expression of positive feelings and negatives in an honest and adequate way.” Some authors believe that assertiveness is the appropriate skill for handling people without being manipulated. This process can be complex. An assertive person is one that is able to express feelings, attitudes, desires, and opinions in a respectful and polite way. It is a balance between expressing personal needs and desires while respecting other views.

Communication Styles

There are two sides of being assertive, being too aggressive or too passive. Too aggressive is unreasonable anger, while passive people are often scared to put forth an opinion. Assertiveness is a healthy balance in between.

What is Assertiveness

Passive Communication
• Often do not express honest feelings, thoughts or beliefs, can be taken advantage of 
• Lets others violate his rights by letting them impose their opinions
• Beat around the bush attitudes
• Apologizes often
• Hesitant changes of opinion
• Self deprecating

• Doesn’t look directly at people



Aggressive Communication

• Can be inappropriate or disrespectful

• Imposes on others

• False sense of superiority

• Sarcastic voice tone, can scream, yell, even be physically aggressive

• Firm voice, fluent, fast,

• Can be racist or $e*ist

• Staring, glaring, pointing

• Intrusive of personal space

• Mocking or ridiculing

• This kind of person is always trying to win at any cost, he doesn’t mind the other point of view and is reluctant to recognize that he might be wrong
Assertive communication

• It is a way of communicating feelings, thoughts, and beliefs in an open, honest, and respectful way

• Tone and volume are appropriate

• Empathic

Sources
•  “assertiveness” in Dorland’s Medical Dictionary
• Wolpe, J. (1958) Psychotherapy by Reciprocal Inhibition, (California: Stanford University Press, 1958), 53–62
• Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence (London 1996)