Creating Balance in Everyday Life by Dr. Arianna Sholes-Douglas
It’s really NOT about you! I reflect back on the many times that I have taken someone’s actions directly to heart and assumed that their behavior was about me. But when I really think about it, it usually was never really about me, it was about them, their issues, the type of day that they were having, and how the decided to interact with me at that moment. I am supremely guilty of personalizing other people’s bad behavior. (That’s probably worth a whole book analyzing that alone) Personalizing situations can begin to feel real heavy. It means you have considered the other person’s behavior and then began to create your own “story” of what those actions were all about. After that, the ego kicks in a shouts, “How DARE they talk to me like that.” Before you know it, you have an entire novel written in YOUR mind about someone else’s behavior. Today, when the offensive boss appears to belittle you, the “less than always attentive” husband does not greet you the way you expected at the door, or your child just seems to feel like cuttin’ up, remember, It’s really not about you. Take 10 seconds, remind yourself that you are not the source, decide not to start writing that story and move on with grace and gratitude for the rest of the day. Take it a step further and look at how that individual typically moves through their day and how they interact with everyone else. It’s liberating not to carry all of those novels in your head and ultimately in your heart.“I am not the source of other’s behavior. It really is not about me.”
~ Dr. Arianna
Arianna Sholes-Douglas, MD, FACOG is a board certified OB/Gyn and maternal-fetal medicine specialist. She has practiced medicine over 20 years and took a comprehensive and holistic approach to women’s medicine incorporating mind, body, and spirit and focuses on patient empowerment during all points on life’s journey through womanhood.