love & life Most Popular Relationship

7 Things Men Really Want In A Relationship

We have often written about how to impress women and what they, now its time we talk about what men like and need in their relationships. Men are often reluctant to discuss things they need emotionally and prefer to be quiet and suffer inside, but as a wonderful partner, you probably want to know what your man really needs from your relationship. Here are some obvious needs for men:

7 Things Men Really Want In A Relationship.

• Appreciation

Men often complain that their partners don’t appreciate them or say what they like about them. The term ‘male ego’ is famous, and as a partner you must take care of your man’s ego. Praise him and appreciate his effort, efficiency, love, and love-making prowess. They really love to hear how good they are in bed. Most men don’t require constant appreciation but when something is good why not just say it and improve his day? Keep telling your man about his good looks, gestures, and whatever you like about him.

• Communication

Often women feel their men should get their clues or hints to find out what’s missing or bothering them, but men actually need good communication to know these things, and will rarely get your clues. Lack of communication leads to disappointment in women (as to why he is not getting any clue) and irritation in men.

• Live your own life

Men want their partners to have their own life and keep their own identity. This does not mean they don’t love you or are not interested in you, they will support you in your activities and plans. Have your own set of friends, goals, activities, and passion. You must have a life which is going to surprise your partner every day in a happy manner.

• Good love Life

This is one of the most important things a man desires in a relationship. If you are a woman who satisfies your man’s desires he will remember it always. Keep your man happy and he’ll keep you happy in return.

• Respect

Mostly men command, not demand, respect. This is a basic factor in a healthy relationship, you should respect your partner for what he has been doing for you, your relationship, and your family. He should feel his efforts are being acknowledged by you. Hardships will always be there but you should learn to conquer them together.

• Games Free Relationship

Most men don’t like being manipulated. They expect their partners to know how to treat someone with respect. A relationship is free of mind games or blaming games last longer. Take care of the fragility of your relationship and trust the man you chose. This will help them trust you, love you, and respect you as well.

• Comfort

Last but not least – comfort. In their busy stressful life, men want some peace, which they expect from their partner. They want to feel comfortable and relaxed when they are with you, which will help relieve their stress. This is about being in touch with them emotionally, men do have emotions although they may not show it. They get strength from you, so you should be supportive.

Most Popular Relationship

7 Signs Your Relationship Worths Keeping

7 Signs Your Relationship Worths Keeping

7 Signs Your Relationship Worths Keeping

We can sometimes wonder if our relationship is worth saving. No relationship is perfect, but that does not mean you should end it because of inevitable ups and downs. There may be several issues on which you don’t agree, but often opposites attract. In spite of having several differences if you notice the following signs this relationship is worth keeping and don’t let her/him go:

7 Signs Your Relationship Worth Keeping

He/She is one of your favorite people
We may have many friends and love to spend time with them, finding your best friend in your partner is incredible. If you love doing many of the same things, enjoy spending time together as friends, and he or she is one of your favorite people to spend time with then your relationship is worth it. It’s hard to find a friend in your partner, if you have one don’t let them go.

You Grow Together
Growth is important in every relationship. If you can both see a good future together and you are growing and discovering yourself being with your partner, keep your relationship safe. You have a similar mindset about the future, and that is worth keeping.

You are not thinking about anyone else romantically
It’s normal to notice attractive people, there is a difference between noticing them and seeking them out or calling and emailing them. If you want to indulge in any type of relationship with someone else you should end your current relationship.

Fights don’t last
This is a great sign for a lasting relationship, if you fight and don’t take too long to set aside your ego and make up it shows you value your relationship and respect each other. Don’t let go of this relationship.

You communicate with each other well
It’s important to get along with your partner and communicate with each other. As the relationship evolves we become familiar with our partner and know almost everything about them which can cause a reduction in communication, we kind of stop talking about stuff. But if you still love talking to each other, sharing your interests, and you enjoy each other’s company your relationship is worth keeping.

You can be yourself
Do you have to pretend or act differently than yourself to keep your partner happy? If you are doing this then it’s just not the right relationship for you. A true partner will let you be yourself and will help boost your confidence. If you can be yourself, silly, smart, funny, sad, or whatever you’re feeling that day then this is a great relationship.

No mind games
If you and your partner are not faking anything and there is trust and honesty in your relationship it’s a sign of a worthiness. Love them the way they are and they are going to surprise you with many happy moments.


Signs Your Marriage is On Shaky Ground

Signs Your Marriage is On Shaky Ground

Signs Your Marriage is On Shaky Ground

Marriage is a beautiful association of two imperfect souls coming together and sharing their love, future, and dreams. Some couples stay happy while some struggle to maintain their marriage, but are you really confused as to where your marriage is heading? Of course there must be some good times but as bad times start taking over you think about it. Its not that you should split or seek divorce but maybe it’s time to seek counselling and take corrective measures to save your marriage. Here are some signs that can help you know it’s the time you take your marital problems seriously:

• No love-making or going to bed separately
According to psychotherapist Christina Steinorth-Powell, author of Cue Cards for Life, going to bed at different times leads to 3 situations, you miss the hot conversation before you dozing off together, you are less inclined to cuddle, and last but not least no love-making. Think about earlier times when you were crazy after each other and maybe even made love twice a day. So what happened? If the reasons are other than health issues or working opposite shifts it’s time you should worry.

Couple In Bed

• Sudden and/or extreme change in behavior
If either of you have started behaving differently there may be some complications. This could be due to office pressure or some other stress. You need to address and discuss it with your spouse. Maybe they are upset or unhappy about your relationship and something is bothering him/her. These sudden changes are hard to handle and can make things go from bad to worse. Fix it ASAP.

• Uncertainty or doubt about your partner
One major reason for split-ups is not hatred but lack of interest in your partner. Why would anybody leave his/her partner if they still have interest in them? Psychotherapist Mia Adler Ozair, author of Insider’s Secrets: How to Choose an Exceptional Therapist (and How to Avoid the Bad Ones) says “If a couple comes in and one of the partners says to me, ‘I hate him/her!’ I always say, ‘That’s great news!’ Hate is not the opposite of love… ambivalence is,” But if feelings are still alive (be it negative/positive) that means there is still some spark and you can change things completely.

• Kids attract you more than your spouse
One friend’s spouse always calls her just to ask about his daughter. They do not talk or ask about each other, this is odd. There is no doubt that children are a priority and we love them accordingly, but forgetting your spouse makes no sense. It’s important to balance things and help your children learn the importance of a healthy relationship, after all they learn what they see. Set good examples and keep things light.

• Lack of respect for each other
Respect is an important factor in any relationship, but what about when it’s gone? You start feeling rejected, ignored, dismissed, and scared. Things can get worse when your partner refuses to talk about it. This is the time you should make efforts to win back the respect your partner had for you in the beginning. Don’t react when he/she misbehaves, stay calm and act sensibly. Making a marriage work takes common sense, communication, and sometimes hard work.

• You stop arguing
More than fighting, when the fighting stops is a dangerous place for a relationship if the issues are not resolved. Every couple fights on some issues but when your partner stops arguing it’s a red flag. Valerie Jencks, founder and executive director of Prairie Family Therapy in Chicago says, “Arguments are !nt!mate. Physiologically, we become aroused with conflict requiring that we pay full attention to the person we are fighting with.” While we argue we stay connected to our partner, when we don’t argue, we lose touch and the connection with our partner.

If you notice these signs in your marriage don’t panic. Take some practical corrective measures to win back your loving relationship. A loving, stable, respectful relationship is worth all the work it takes to get there!


Do You Have the Same Conflicts Over and Over?

Do You Have the Same Conflicts Over and Over?

Do You Have the Same Conflicts Over and Over?

Discover why sometimes it is easy to resolve conflicts and other times it is impossible.

Kari and Rudy consulted with me because they kept having conflicts over the same issues – primarily money, chores and child-rearing. They were nearing the decision to separate, believing that they were incompatible.

I asked them to pick one of the issues, and they picked a recent conflict regarding setting limits for their children. I listened to them discussing the issue and I immediately understood why they could not resolve their issues.

I explained to them that there are always two levels of communication:

The issue itself, such as their conflict regarding limits for their children

The intent with which they were discussing the issue
There are only two possible intents in discussing an issue with your partner:

The intent to protect against losing yourself, losing the conflict, feeling rejected, or feeling controlled

The intent to learn about yourself and your partner – about the good reasons each of you has for seeing things the way you do. When in the intent to learn, you are open to resolving the conflict in a way that feels like a win-win.
The reason that Kari and Rudy could not resolve their conflicts is that both of them were in the intent to protect, and they were both using various forms of controlling behavior to protect themselves. In order to resolve their conflicts, both of them needed to be in the intent to learn.

There was no point in even trying to resolve their conflicts if one or both of them were in the intent to protect/control. There is no way to get anywhere when your focus is on winning, being right, being in control and not being controlled, or avoiding any other pain. As long as avoiding pain is more important to you than being loving to yourself and your partner, you will be closed and protected, and the conflict cannot reach a mutually satisfying resolution.

I worked with both Kari and Rudy on how each of them were protecting and controlling. Rudy tended to shut down and withdraw, becoming very quiet in an angry way, while Kari tended to get angrier and angrier the more Rudy shut down. Both of them were hurt in these interactions. Both ended up feeling unloved and disconnected from each other.

Do You Have the Same Conflicts Over and Over

In order to open with each other, each of them needed to learn to tune in to their painful feelings of loneliness, heartache and helplessness in the face of the other’s protections. Each needed to learn to be compassionate about their own feelings, as well as the other’s feelings. Each needed to care more about themselves and each other than about whether they were right, or not wrong. It needed to become more important to them to stay open and caring than to avoid their painful feelings with their protective, controlling behavior.

Kari and Rudy worked hard with the Inner Bonding process to learn how to take responsibility for their own feelings rather than continuing to blame and try to control each other.

Finally, in a session a few months into their work with me, they were both open at the same time. They were shocked to experience how easy it was to resolve the child-rearing issue, as well as the other issues they’d been struggling with for years. Through their openness and caring about themselves and each other, they were able to learn so much about themselves and each other that new solutions emerged. They were delighted!

If you are stuck in resolving conflicts, then let go of the issues and look at your intent. I assure you that when both of you are open to learning about yourselves and each other, and want to support your own and your partner’s highest good, you will be able to easily resolve your conflicts.

Margaret PaulBy Dr. Margaret Paul
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author, relationship expert & Inner Bonding® facilitator. She has counseled individuals & couples since 1968. She is the author/co-author of eight books, including the internationally best-selling Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?, Healing Your Aloneness, Inner Bonding, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah, as well as on the unique and popular website Inner Bonding & of the transformational self-healing/conflict resolution software program, SelfQuest®. Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course.

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Should I Text Him?

Should I Text Him?

Relationships can be difficult, okay, they are difficult, even at best. This is for every time you’ve wondered if you should make first contact, how long is too long, or how fast makes you look too eager. Be smart about your availability, and hold yourself high, and don’t settle! This is just a fun look at things, and may even make you laugh, then again it may be way more than you need to know! It’s still pretty cool. Enjoy!