Divorce Sucks. Here’s 7 Ways To Really Get Back On Track
Time and Tides Wait for No One in Divorce
Divorce is a new beginning for those who refuse to waste their time on grief and self-pity. All of the elements of the most bitter divorces like infidelity, financial problems or obsessive/compulsive addictions waste your time and your life. Divorce is actually the first step to a new life. For some, it is a rebirth and a chance to allow the inner person to reach unprecedented goals as a newly unattached human being.
Attached/Unattached – Marriage and Divorce
Some individuals realize emotional attachments feel like nooses around their necks. This is especially true for individuals accustomed to thinking as a single. The biggest problem for many soon-to-be-divorced people is being comfortable being alone.
As an unattached, unmarried person there is little to fear. Check the neediness of each partner and level of independence each partner feels comfortable with. Each individual should study their basic fears and emotional attachments. Discard those that are unfounded in order to pursue future relationships to be free of old emotional baggage.
How Well Do You Know Yourself?
If you know who you are, what you want from your life and how you can achieve your goals, the path forward is replete with options. When you don’t take the time to like yourself, self-doubt, fear of failure and lack of identification of your options encroach on your future in a negative way.
Seven Ways to Overcome Negative Aspects of Divorce
There are seven productive ways to overcome negative aspects of divorce. These includes:
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1. Place a Time Limit on Grief and Loss
It would be a mistake to ignore the grieving period or sense of loss in a divorce. Men and women process divorce grief and loss differently. To get back on track quickly, place a time limit on grief and sense of loss. Allott six months for grief and loss period and use the next six months to rebuild your life.
2. Plan and Design Your Future
Post-divorce is the time to start to plan and design the future you want and, more importantly, the future you deserve. Take inventory of your personal skills and talents. Consider how these create a brighter future for a self-confident, contented life. If you are uncertain of these, join support groups where interaction with others helps sort through your most valuable personal assets.
3. Remodel Your Personal Environment
Living in the past with haunting memories doesn’t allow divorce grief or loss to pass. The first step to the rest of your life is to build the personal environment that offers comfort and emotional security. Be good to yourself and a little self-indulgent to elevate your spirits.
4. Explore New Friendships
Use your natural social skills and don’t be afraid to explore new and different friendships with people you might not have considered before.
5. Don’t Dwell on the Past
One of the biggest mistakes of divorcing individuals is replaying old tapes mentally. Close the door to your marital past firmly and leave it closed.
6. Avoid Hostility and Recriminations with a Former Spouse
Once you are divorced, avoid continuous hostilities and recriminations that only add stress. Your former spouse is as much a stranger after divorce as any new person you meet.
7. Think for Yourself
Divorce means making decisions and thinking for yourself. Avoid making major decisions in a highly emotional state. Good judgment and decision making begin with clear thinking.