New Study Finds That Staying Friends With Your Ex Is Highly Achievable
How many times have you heard someone say, “We are just friends with benefits?” If you aren’t familiar this term, let me enlighten you. Basically, it means that you and your buddy are friends, but also “help” each other out no strings attached. You are free to do as you like and so is he. Everything is going great until one of you meet someone else. Enter the catchphrase, “Can’t we still be friends?” Whether you were the dumper or were dumped, guaranteed you have heard this sentence at least once in your life.
Sadly, it’s as unavoidable as paying taxes. If you happened to be the receiving end, surely you thought there was no way on earth you ever want to see them again, let alone be friends. You probably answered yes because you wanted things to end things amicably. While you both attend social events of mutual friends, and always give a polite wave in their direction, the ugly truth is that remaining friends after a breakup is difficult or is it?
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A research study published in The Archives of $exual Behavior was conducted to determine whether people could remain friends once their “benefits” ended. Out of the 308 participants interviewed, 50 percent said that they were still best buds afterward without ill feelings towards each other. Over 32 percent of people polled said they were able to maintain their friendships, but from a distance, whereas 19 percent said they weren’t able to salvage the friendship.
Participants who weren’t able to maintain their friendships after their “benefits” came to an end reported feeling isolated, lonely and downright sad. They also reported feeling betrayed. On the other hand, those who were able to continue their friendships evidently had love based on friendship and not vice versa. While researchers aren’t advising you to begin a “FWB” relationship, they are pointing out that if the relationship was truly built on friendship, it is possible to remain friends even if there are no extras.
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With that said, if you are hoping that your friends-with-benefits guy or girl will become your significant other, the odds aren’t in your favor. If you are okay with a part-time “boyfriend or girlfriend” and have no other expectations, then feel free to do as you please. What’s most important is open communication from the beginning to ensure neither party ends up with a broken heart.