When people think of infidelity, they often think of engaging with someone physically outside of a committed relationship. While physical cheating is common, it is also possible for a person to cheat emotionally. An emotional affair occurs when a person forms a strong emotional bond with someone else that interferes with the intimacy of their committed relationship. Many marriage experts agree that they serve as a gateway to $exual infidelity and for some, they are more devastating than physical cheating. Emotional affairs are often difficult to identify, but the following is a list of 5 red flags that signal that your partner may be having an emotional affair.
Sudden Secretiveness
When someone is trying to hide something, you usually notice. A partner who all of the sudden starts leaving the room to have a phone conversation, or who changes their computer and social media passwords out of the blue, maybe up to something. You may also notice that they are deleting the history from their computer so that no one can see their recent activity. You could be vaguely aware of a ‘friend’ that your partner won’t offer many details about.
Feelings of Detachment
As your partner develops a deep emotional bond with someone else, you may feel that they are becoming detached from you. A once active love life noticeably decreases or ceases to exist at all. In some cases, you may find that the intimacy and closeness you are used to feeling is no longer there. A person who used to come home and discuss their day with you and engage in meaningful conversation no longer has much to say. Interaction becomes superficial and more routine than meaningful. Many people in this situation feel like they are sharing space with someone who is no longer interested in them.
Criticism
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When your partner has an idyllic view of the other person, they may focus on the ways that you are different. This can cause them to be more critical of you. The criticism comes from them comparing you to their fantasy of the other person. In some situations, the guilt associated with being dishonest can cause a person to put their partner down.
New Technology Interests
In this day and age, many people rely on technology in the form of smartphones and tablets. When you are in a relationship with someone, you know their habits and tendencies. Warning signs may be that they are using their phone more, or checking social media accounts more regularly. These signs are amplified when it is clear that they are trying to hide what they are doing on their devices from you. Social media sites provide the perfect platform for emotional cheaters. They can check to see what the other person is doing, and communicate with them in a seemingly harmless environment.
Your Gut Is Telling You the Truth
When all is said and done, your intuition usually tells you that something is not right. Unless you are the jealous or irrational type, you should trust your gut. If this is a person that you are in a committed relationship with, you should be able to talk to them about it. According to family therapist Marni Furman, you should initiate a conversation to talk about your concerns. Conversations like this are never easy, but for the good of the relationship, they are necessary. If your partner gets defensive, combative or refuses to talk, they may be confirming your suspicion.
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Acknowledging these red flags may be painful, but if you notice them, don’t ignore them. No matter what you decide to do, be confident in your instincts and seek help if you need it. If your relationship is worth saving, in the end, you’ll be glad that you confronted this issue.
