As many single people know, Valentine’s Day can make you feel inadequate and lonely because you are a single rather than a duo. The cards, flowers, jewelry, and hotel specials for couples are advertised every time you turn around. There are some groups of women in urban areas who have famous women’s parties to celebrate the day, with food, drinks, music, and a group of friends to celebrate, or commiserate on, your state of single blessedness with.

If you choose to be single well-meaning friends and relatives often do not understand your wishes at all. They may offer to set you up on blind dates, send you encouraging letters, recommend dating sites, or question your pretyness, mostly if you have it, which is no one’s business.

 

Those of you who read my blogs may already know that I married badly, so badly that my family went through quite a bit of therapy. After the divorce I stayed single for several years on purpose, then I started dating, then gave it up again, over a year ago now I gave it up for good. Many people think that I don’t think anyone is good enough for me, that’s not true, I don’t think anyone is good enough for my family. I refuse to be with someone who is not perfect for all of us, and I want someone like me, unless I meet that person, I will remain like this.

There are many advantages to being single. I do not share my closet with anyone. I do not argue with anyone about laundry, dishes, schedules, or finances. I make the rules, and I spend my time how I wish. If I have a banana for dinner that is just fine. If I stay up late writing or watching a movie no one is waiting for me.

I don’t get lonely, and I don’t get bored. Things can be rather quiet, but then again, things can be rather quiet.

There are so many things to do, and to learn, and to enjoy, romantic love does not feel as if it is missing. I have lots of love in my life already. I love my children, their significant others, my granddaughters, sister, mother, nieces and nephews, brother-in-law, cousins, and many friends. I love a good cup of coffee, a big glass of cold water, a well prepared meal, a good book, a good movie, a fireplace, and lighting the house with candles. I love spending time in nature, game night with the family, and doing silly things with my oldest granddaughter.

I know there are advantages to being in a relationship, but this is not about that. This is about being single and amazing, knowing that because you are solo does not mean there is anything wrong with you, in fact, there could be something very right with you.

Being single is where we can grow, and learn, and make ourselves ready for a romantic relationship that may come because we are steadily enjoying the relationships that surround us now. Sure it can get a little annoying, hearing plans from married friends about Valentine’s dates, knowing even your grown children will be enjoying the day with someone, while if I do anything it will probably be babysit, but that’s okay.

I don’t feel a need to party with friends, or go out looking, or be sad and lonely. I have no idea what I will be doing for sure, but I know that I will be enjoying it, this day will not come again, I want every bit of happiness it offers.