7 Untypical Things for Narcissistic Personality
Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and take advantage of others in order to get what they want. They hide their flaws and abusive behaviors from others through manipulation and make it difficult to recognize what healthy behaviors in a relationship look like. This list below will help you learn to identify healthy, loving relationships and avoid an influence of the narcissistic personality in your life.
1. Narcissists Don’t Acknowledge Your Feelings
You’ve had a bad day and nothing seems to be going right. You’re tired, overworked, stressed and even a little depressed. All you want is to curl up with some tea and have the day melt away from memory. But life with a narcissist won’t allow you to take that time for yourself. Instead they want you to devote all your time to them and their needs. They are unable or unwilling to recognize the needs and feelings of others as they are too preoccupied with themselves (see #7 on this list for further explanation).
2. Narcissists Don’t Recognize Your Successes
A person with an inflated sense of self-importance cannot see another person’s victories or successes. They are too competitive and too focused on their own successes, whether real or imagined. If the store clerk pays you a compliment, a narcissist will say that they were only feeling sorry for you. If you get a promotion, a narcissist will blame you for being manipulative, instead of congratulating you on your hard work. For a narcissist any other success besides their own is never earned and always undeserved. They are fiercely jealous of the spotlight and will stop at nothing to be in it.
3. Narcissists Don’t Practice Humility
Your coworker gets a raise at work. If he or she has narcissistic personality disorder, everyone in the office will know about it. In fact, not only will the news spread like wildfire, but he or she will exaggerate their achievement, perhaps saying that any day now they’ll be promoted to manager. A person with narcissistic personality disorder will brag on themselves, inflate their successes and belittle anyone who they believe threatens their position.
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4. Narcissists Don’t Ever Feel Content
A narcissist feels that they deserve the very best the world has to offer. They deserve the highest paying job, the most recognition, the best car and the most beautiful house, the perfect husband or wife. But the problem with wanting the best of everything is that nothing is ever good enough. There will always be something better out there. As a result, narcissists don’t often stick to anything for very long as they are always looking for the next best thing. For this reason, narcissists also frequently cheat in their relationships.
5. Narcissists Don’t Stay Faithful
Since a narcissist believes they only deserve the best in the world, they will always have one foot out the door in a relationship. They have a wandering eye and feel entitled to everything and everyone, regardless of anyone else’s feelings. They may stray in a relationship for a little while and then come back because the person they had their eye on wasn’t all they had hoped for. Or they may leave a relationship entirely to pursue a new relationship. To be sure, the narcissist will never be happy with their partner, no matter who it is.
6. Narcissists Don’t Forgive Easily
Since a narcissist lacks compassion and empathy, they do not understand when someone else makes mistakes and they interpret any small slipup as a personal affront. They cannot see for themselves where they have made their own blunders and how others may have extended grace to them, and therefore cannot return the favor in any capacity. This makes it difficult for a people with narcissistic personality to engage in any meaningful long-term relationship.
7. Narcissists Don’t Love Unconditionally
Some may say narcissists can’t love at all, depending on how you define love. But certainly a narcissist is incapable of loving without conditions or setting arbitrary limits. Since they are only driven by their own ego and self-interest, a narcissist will never allow themselves to experience the joys and sorrows of compromise that come with any fulfilling relationship. Since they only see other people as tools to help them get what they want, they are incapable of loving someone just for who they are. They are blinded by their own egos.
Look for these flags in people you meet or the ones already in your life. By practicing discernment and discovering what narcissists don’t do for you or for themselves, you may just find more people in life who are willing to give and receive genuine love.