The Cheater Diaries: 9 Men Explain Their Infidelity
Men who have developed a strong dissociation between work and home for a long-enough period of time will often display cognitive dissonance when attempting to explain themselves.
The physical non-factor
“My wife is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with, but in the moment of Infidelity, it wasn’t even about physical attraction. I had grown so familiar with my wife that I took her for granted and wanted something new, like an immature kid.”
One of the more surprising reports is that many men who admit to Infidelity claime that the woman they cheated with wasn’t even more attractive than their partner, but simply offered a change of pace.
“I think it came from a place of weakness. I was afraid of my wife cheating on me, and so I talked myself into doing it myself before it happened to me. It sounds incredibly stupid now, but in the moment, it seemed like it made so much sense.”
Perhaps the most common psychological damage that results in Infidelity is a sense of being unworthy or insufficient in others aspects of life besides love.
“I’ve never been able to understand intimacy, and that’s why I’ve tried to avoid it for so long. I confused love with physical contact, and my relationship was the price I paid for ignorance.”
While there are a lot of men who say that they’ve in love, many of these men are secretly confused about the true definition of love. The stress of confusion can quickly develop into psychological turmoil, and when the strain reaches a high point, the man may be prone to do things that he immediately regrets; naturally, cheating is a common result.
Repairing the damage
“Admitting my cheating to my wife forced me to talk about things that I’d never shared, and we’ve grown closer. I don’t deserve a woman who can be so understanding, but I feel much closer to her now that I can be honest.”
Even though the effects of cheating can be devastating, there are still cases where the relationship has been successfully salvaged after the damage has been done. Depending on the couple, the ability to share weaknesses that lead to cheating can potentially knock down psychological barriers and increase the couple’s level of int!macy and connection.
With all of the emotional destruction that can result from years of trust being broken in a single night, understanding a cheater’s behavior can be an extremely hard thing to do. These stories may not make cheating any less painful, but at the very least, they offer some perspective.