3 Things to Avoid if Your Man Unemployed
For Better or For Worse
Job loss can strain a marriage. Unemployment ranks with the death of a loved one and divorce as one of the most stressful life events. If your husband has come home to tell you he has lost his job, you may feel an incredible amount of stress as you worry about your family’s financial stability. An article published in the Journal of Sociology and Social Welfare states that a worker who has been laid off may become anxious, distrusting, and more apt to experience depression. However, this article fails to mention the impact that job loss has on the entire family. You may feel hopeless or angry about your family’s new situation, but you must make sure to avoid the following gut reactions when your spouse informs you that he is no longer employed.
1. Do Not Blame Your Husband During for Losing His Job
You may be frightened when you learn that your husband is now unemployed. However, you must resist the urge to blame him. Announcing that the job loss was his fault entirely or calling him lazy is not going to improve the situation. A study performed by Dr. B.R. Karney, a social psychiatry professor at UCLA, evaluated the stress levels of several couples and recorded their blaming behaviors. The 2003 article in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin describes that healthy couples refrain from blaming each other for things, even if the blame is warranted. The article also describes Dr. Karney’s findings that couples facing a stressful situation are more apt to blame each other for problems than couples who are not currently stressed.
2. Do Not Nag Your Husband During His Job Search
When a person is nagged, it can be detrimental to their health. A study out of the University of Copenhagen found that spouses who were nagged by their partners were twice as likely to die within the next ten years as spouses who were not nagged. Dr. Rikke Lund states that men tend to have a smaller social network than women, and their partner’s opinions are paramount to them. The research in the study shows that demanding partners are linked to hundreds of deaths from heart disease and stroke. Nagging can be deadly, and continuously nagging a person who is already in a stressful situation is inconsiderate.
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3. Do Not Ignore the Problem
Refraining from blaming or nagging your partner does not mean that you shouldn’t talk about unemployment. In fact, listening to the way your husband feels about his job loss may allow him to come up new solutions. Many people who are unemployed feel ashamed. If you validate his feelings and show that you are willing to help, he may feel that he can open up about his job loss. Communication will bring the two of your closer together during your husband’s job search. Likewise, do not ignore the financial implications of what has happened. Work together on a new budget and come up with creative ideas for the two of you to make money while your husband searches for employment.
Unemployment does not need to come between you and your husband. Try to stay positive, and try to understand how he is feeling at this time. You cannot ignore the fact that your life together will change temporarily, but you can remain supportive during this tough time.