Most of us get into relationships to feel loved and be happy, sometimes you may not realize your partner is becoming abusive. No one plans to get into an abusive relationship. Per statistics, the average woman suffers 5-7 acts of violence before leaving the abuser. There are warning signs that can help you identify an abusive partner and a potentially abusive relationship. Here are a few:
1. Your partner is too possessive
Feeling concerned and protective towards your partner is acceptable, however, when your partner becomes too possessive of you it’s a sign of abusive behavior. If they call constantly to check up on you, visit often unexpectedly, or spy on you it may mean you’re in a potentially abusive relationship.
You are an individual with your own life, you are capable of making your own best decisions. If your partner tries to take control of your life and decisions that is a warning sign. This may include the need to ask permission before going anywhere, checking your call records, and frequent intense interrogation.
Another sign of an abusive partner is when he/she tries to isolate you, cutting you off from family and friends. They want you to only talk to them and expect that they should be the only thing on your mind 24*7. They may control the money, car, and phone to ensure they know what you’re doing.
4. Verbal Abuse
If your partner talks to you in a disrespectful way, sometimes using profanity, it is a sign that you need to move on. Some signs are derogatory name calling, rudeness, vulgarity, and yelling.
5. Refusing to Accept Responsibility, Blames Others
Another sign of an abusive partner is when they consistently blame others for their mistakes, it could be their boss, family members, friends, and often you. When the two of you argue they may say that it’s all your fault. They cannot admit to being wrong and run away from responsibility.
6. Make you Fearful
If you do not feel safe and secure when you are with your partner and instead sometimes feel scared, it is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Partners that are potentially abusive try to scare you by threatening to leave the relationship, or to hurt you, or to hurt themselves. They might often tell you how dangerous they are and can go to any extent when it comes to their obsessions.
7. Try to have dominating physical contact
Some partners, especially males, will try to use force and extra power while making love. They may ask you to perform physical acts against your will. They might say they find this playful or stimulating, however, it can hurt you physically. This may lead to physical violence as well.
If you are experiencing any of these signs please talk to someone you can trust, there are domestic violence hotlines everywhere, people are trained to help you. Always know that you deserve love and respect, feel free to walk away from anything, or anyone, that does not provide that.