5 Signs Your Romantic Relationship Has Reached Its Peak
As much as we all love the idea of finding our “soul mate” or “one true love” the reality is that dating and relationships actually take a lot of work. The real goal then, is to find the person that is actually worth doing all that work for. All relationships will experience plateaus at some time, but what is a natural, normal part of a marital relationship, can be a major red light in a dating relationship. If you are already encountering obstacles a few months into a relationship that most married couples won’t face until at least a few years in, then it might be a good indication that your dating relationship doesn’t have what it takes to carry it through the long haul. Here are 5 signs that it might be time to end your relationship and move on.
1.) There is little to no physical affection
Ask any married couple, and they’ll tell you a healthy and active love life takes some seriously concentrated effort over the long haul. But what is difficult and challenging after several years of marriage should not be difficult and challenging after several months of dating. If your partner doesn’t at least get your heart moving a little faster every time you see them, that might be an indication this isn’t a relationship that’s going to go the distance.
2.) It’s all physical and nothing else
The other end of the spectrum is when your relationship is nothing but physical and you rarely, if ever, find yourself talking about anything of value, meaning or importance. If every “date” takes place in bed, it might be time to get out of bed and see if you have anything in common anywhere else. Long term relationships require a solid foundation of similar interests and passions. If the only thing you have in common is how much you both enjoy lovemaking with each other, then it might be time to move on.
3.) You or your partner have stopped caring about their appearance
When two people first start dating, they tend to put an inordinate amount of effort into maintaining their physical appearance. Over time, however, as they become more comfortable with each other, it is natural to fall back into more natural patterns of grooming and self-care. There is a difference, however, in maintaining a more realistic level of personal hygiene and just not caring at all about your appearance. When your partner shows up unexpectedly and catches you in your rattiest old sweats, that’s one thing, but when you have plans to meet and one of you can’t be bothered to tidy yourself up, that’s not a good sign.
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4.) There is a significant imbalance in investment in the relationship
If you are contributing significantly more in a certain area than your mate and they are unable or unwilling to step up and contribute more, then it might be time to call it quits. Ultimately, relationships require two people that are both committed to and invested in the relationship. Marilyn Stowe, a top divorce attorney and author, says: “a relationship can only be rescued and revived when both parties believe that it is worth fighting for.”
5.) You don’t go out together anymore
It’s never a good sign when you stop wanting to spend time with this person. This doesn’t mean that you don’t need any “me” time or alone time away from them – that’s not only natural, it’s healthy. But when you can go a week or more without having any desire to see them, talk to them or be around them, that is not a good or healthy sign.
Ultimately, all relationships will go through peaks and valleys, and these can even happen in a few months or years of dating. None of these signs are a definite red light in and of themselves, but they are all indications that it might be a good idea to take a long hard look at your relationship and either step up or get out. Especially if you are experiencing multiple symptoms of a relationship that has reached a plateau. For another perspective on knowing when it’s time to break up, here is an article from Family Share.