6 Clues Your Girlfriend is Losing Interest – and How to Fix the Problem
Great relationships start out with a spark. Two people meet one another and their chemistry is instant. Perhaps they love the same music and movies. Maybe they both studied Art History in college. Who knows? It can be something intangible, where two totally different people meet and fall in love. The only problem with this system is that the initial spark – the thing that draws two people to one another – can fade. In its place, boredom, restlessness, disinterest, and annoyance can appear if a couple doesn’t work together to make sure the relationship remains meaningful and special to both parties. Read on to learn about 6 signs that your girlfriend is losing interest.
6 Signs That Your Girlfriend is Losing Interest
- 1. No physical contact: If your girlfriend used to love cozying up to watch a movie or would spontaneously grab your hand in public, chances are good that being physically affectionate is an important part of the way she shows love. If she’s stopped doing those things and seems to react with a little resistance if you put an arm around her at a movie theater or do something else that was once standard practice, she might be losing interest. Having to plan a special time to be together physically instead of letting it happen naturally may also indicate dwindling interest.
- 2. Constant fighting: An occasional argument is no big deal, but if neither of you having a strong opinion on where to go for dinner can suddenly escalate into a full-scale fight, you can bet you’re not really fighting about your date. Tension has developed in the relationship, and it’s reared its ugly head via little spats and huge blowouts alike. A girlfriend who is losing interest is more willing to hurl epithets and get nasty over little things if she doesn’t see long-term relationship potential.
- 3. Talking about other people: If Kurt from work is suddenly a key player in every anecdote your girlfriend is sharing, she might not be as invested in the relationship as you are. Although some people choose to start dropping the name of a new potential crush in order to generate drama and create interest from their partner, some genuinely start moving on while they’re still in a relationship. It may not be conscious, but in either case, it’s not a great sign.
- 4. Leaving you out of her future plans: “When I go to Macchu Picchu” might not seem like a problematic sentence, until you realize that you two used to talk about going together. If your girlfriend is talking about future events in a way that leaves your presence at those events as an ambiguous variable, she might not see you in the picture a few years down the road.
- 5. Anything else is more important: Work, a night at the wine bar with Susan, dogsitting for a coworker who had an appendectomy and researching garbage disposal repair companies shouldn’t all exclusively and constantly take priority over your relationship. If your relationship has gone from high contact to constant blow offs, your girlfriend may be losing interest and hoping you take the hint.
- 6. Nitpicking constantly: This can lead to #2, constant fighting. If habits that never seemed to irk your lady before are suddenly driving her straight up the wall and she seems to be irresistibly drawn to comment on them, she may be losing interest. The rose colored glasses with which she once saw you have been replaced by the harsh glare of reality, and she’s questioning whether she can live with some of your less endearing habits.
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How to Build Trust and Restore a Relationship
If your girlfriend is losing interest and you’re feeling frustrated or depressed, there is hope. Remember that the key to unlocking mutual satisfaction in any relationship is open, honest communication. Let’s take a closer look at how you can attempt to save your relationship.
- Be honest with your partner about the problems you see in the relationship, and hold them accountable to do the same. Ask them what resolution would be satisfying to them, and share the same. You may be surprised to find that your problem-solving strategies are compatible.
- Be willing to compromise about things that really bother her, even if you don’t think they should be bothering her. Seeing this compromise in you will make her more likely to return the spirit of the gesture.
- Tell her the relationship is important to you. Remind her through gestures that show you’ve been paying attention to her needs.
- Stop fights in their tracks by saying you only want to talk. Calming down and discussing things is less likely to lead to a breakup than a nasty fight.
Not all relationships are worth saving, but the ones that require work. The people with the happiest relationships and marriages are the ones that work the hardest at being consistently honest, considerate and respectful. By communicating honestly with your partner and showing a willingness to compromise, she may be reminded of how valuable the relationship is, increasing her desire to stay and repair the problems you’ve been having.