If You Can’t Answer These 4 Questions, Then You Shouldn’t Say ‘I Do’
Maybe you are thinking of tying the knot. Let’s fast-forward and place you at the altar, your back to the congregation. How many of them do you think will be asking themselves these same questions about you? If you can’t answer these four questions, then maybe you shouldn’t say “I Do”.
Before we get to the questions, the most important aspect is to decide if you are personally developed, or secure in yourself so that you won’t have to develop both yourself and your relationship with your partner at the same time.
1 Do I Trust My Partner? If there is any doubt, back off. Think of the myriad of challenges marriage brings: a home and mortgage, children, maybe student debt, continuous employment. If your partner has shown glimpses of not being trustworthy when it comes to keeping a job or paying bills on time, you might want to think twice.
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2 Can We Truly Be Friends? Think of the qualities of friendship. The same interests, really listening to each other, and simply being comfortable just hanging out. Think of your friends while growing up. Does your partner give you this feeling? Maybe a better question would be: If we weren’t in love, would I be friends with this person?
3 Do I Like My Partner’s Family? Many times people in love feel they are the only two who matter. Think again. Most of us have fairly strong family ties and it’s going to be a difficult transition. We all have problematic relatives-so be aware-you’re also marrying your second family.
4 While We’ve Been Dating, Has Our Relationship Been Tranquil? All couples have disagreements and arguments. Have yours been handled constructively, with an agreeable resolution, or has there been screaming, name-calling, or physical abuse? If there has, it’s not going to get better by saying ‘I do’. Marriage has a tendency to add stress to people’s lives, so make sure your ship, for the most part, is sailing on smooth waters.
Be confident as you stand at the altar, knowing these four questions CAN be answered.