Many of us either have been or are currently in an abusive relationship. Relationships of this type are self-perpetuating. That is, the longer a person remains in it, the more difficult it is to leave because the relationship undermines the person’s self-esteem and confidence. Women’s Health Magazine calls it “corrosive love” and it is on the rise.
How do you know if your relationship is emotionally abusive? The following 12 signs may help you determine that. You don’t have to fit all 12, but if any of these signs are present continuingly, your relationship may be headed in an abusive direction.
The Telling Signs
If your partner does the following things, then it may be a sign that you are in an abusive relationship.
• Keeps tabs on you 24/7. If you are not where you are supposed to be exactly when you said you would be, there is trouble.
• Withholds closeness as retribution for perceived misdeeds.
• Regularly abuses alcohol or drugs. Those who are substance abusers often have emotional problems that manifest as emotional abuse of others.
• Becomes angry over minor issues, such as dinner being late.
• Threatens abuse of others if his or her demands aren’t met.
• Relegates you to your side of the bed.
• Brings his or her buddies into your bedroom. This is no place for them to hang out; it is your sanctuary.
• Is never present with you. He or she may be physically present, but if they are continually elsewhere emotionally, that may be abusive behavior if mitigating factors are lacking.
• Refuses to tell you where he or she has been or is evasive.
• Is perpetually mad at you. All couples have disagreements, but when the angry mood becomes a behavior style, it may be abusive behavior.
• Refuses to comfort you when you are upset.
• Spend all his or her time with his or her buddies rather than trying to build a relationship with you.
There are, of course, many more signs of emotional abuse than those that are listed above, but if you are entertaining the idea that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, you probably are. It’s vitally important that you do not blame yourself for the abuse. Those who abuse others do so because of their emotional issues, and it is their choice to behave as they do rather than to seek help.
If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, please seek professional help. The quality of your life is in your hands alone, and no matter how difficult it is in the meantime, the result of being emotionally healthy and appreciated is worth it.
Edited by: Jessa (March 1, 2019)