Speak Your Mind, Be Yourself
By Andre Carvajal
Edited By : Stephanie Dawson
Sometimes we try hard to please others or be good enough, we try to be good parents, children, boyfriends, girlfriends, or siblings that we make great sacrifices to avoid pain or rejection. As a result we can end up self-denigrating and being uncomfortable with ourselves. Even though we are doing our best we may feel it’s not good enough. If we try to fulfill all the expectations of others we can lose our self-esteem, self-respect, our confidence in our uniqueness.
Our children, spouses, parents, friends, chiefs, clients colleagues, and neighbors have some degree of expectations about us. These expectations are a complement of our life, principles and tastes, but they can become infinite and its very difficult to set up limits.
If you don’t speak your mind you are not going to be happy. Keep away from the false idea that rejection can be avoided by pleasing others. Pleasing others and not yourself is self-destructive. Its impossible to fulfill your own expectations, so it’s even more difficult to fulfill everyone else’s. In order to speak your mind you need to overcome disillusion, overcome rejection, and learn how to say no. More importantly, fulfilling real expectations will not contribute by itself to the wisdom of life.
In every corner of life we find new worries and preoccupations, the best way is to make a great effort to be yourself and to live according to your values and priorities. Nobody is the center of the universe, not even you. In order to understand this we need to focus all of our energy to find equilibrium by accepting that sometimes we make assumptions. Have strong conviction in who you are, stop depending on compliments or reinforcements. Be receptive to demands and expectations without losing yourself.
Realize that not everyone is investing their energy in satisfying our expectations, avoid being the exception of the group. Be happy with yourself, if you have a compromise with yourself you will be closer to your expectations.
When you say no you have the time and attention to focus on your priorities
• when you say no you will have extra time to do things you always wanted to do
• when you say no you can live and do other things consciously and can thoroughly enjoy, without the feeling of being a puppet
• when you say no you experience a sense of freedom and liberation