Finding out you’re adopted can completely unravel your life. Some people know from the start that they were adopted, but many other people find out entirely on their own or much later in life. You probably have a lot of mixed feelings regarding your situation; you love your parents, but you have a curiosity to know exactly where you came from. Your birth parents may not have raised you, but they made your entire existence possible, so it’s natural to wonder who they are, what they’re like and maybe even connect on a more personal level.
If your parents never told you that you were adopted, the desire to know who your birth parents are may feel even more imperative. All this time, you feel as if you’ve been deceived. Your real parents are out there in the world somewhere, and you’ve been none the wiser this whole time.
Every parent will have their reasons for telling their child the truth about their origins, but yours should never make you feel guilty for wanting to know who your biological parents are. It’s natural to know, and it may even be helpful for you in the long run.
Rather than living a constant what-if, you can definitively decide for yourself what type of people your parents are. They may not have raised you, and they’ll probably feel like complete strangers. In every sense but biological, they are. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to care about them.
Some people may not want to be found, though. Many people give up their children because they can’t afford to care for them, or they simply just didn’t want to be parents. They gave up their baby because they wanted them to be properly cared for. You have to be emotionally prepared for a negative encounter. They may not want to speak to you, and you may wish you never sought them out in the first place.
You have every right to want to search for your biological parents, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to know their identities. Your love for your adopted family doesn’t have to change, and you can learn more about where you came from without having to lose who you are or any of the bonds you already have with your parents, siblings and loved ones.
This decision is a personal one, and it’s yours to make. Take some time, talk to your adopted family and consider the consequences. At the end of the day, make sure that you only reach out because you really want to know the truth, and don’t hold back simply because you feel guilty or wrong for caring in the first place.
