It is likely that you have seen the endearing, romantic, and yet nearly obsessive social media posts posted by spouses. As annoying as such over-posts might be, most women feel jealous of those whose partners publicly gush and ogle over. Scrolling through such posts each week can be nauseating, especially if the recipients seem to boast about their partners continually.
Wanting to feel loved, adored, and boasted about is a strange female urge. When compared to men, women can tend to be a little bit more openly self-conscious. Women often feel that they need the men in their lives to provide them with the desired self-confidence and self-worth.
Molly Tolar has been with her husband for more than six years, dating back to her high school days. However, she can count on one hand the number of times he posted anything specifically admiring her as a girlfriend or wife. As such, she has never enjoyed the experience and instant ego boost of being someone’s hashtag. It is hard to think of a girl who would not like for a boy to post something flattering about her.
Molly’s husband never comments on her photos to say how gorgeous or attractive she is to him. He also does not post any I love you too message whenever she posts something admiring him online. Molly and her husband are very much in love and happily married. So why is it he does not want to show her off to the cyber world? It is because her husband doesn’t need to.
As confirmed by Molly, her husband does not need to inform his followers that he loves her because he actually does. It is true he does not say she is his woman crush online. However, maybe he vacuums the dog’s hair so she doesn’t need to or massages her back whenever she has a bad ache. It is also possible that he kisses her forehead even when she keeps him awake with her tossing and turning. As such, her husband does not need to inform the world that he loves her since his actions say it explicitly.
As Molly eventually realized, she would much rather get a surprise hug than a boastful online post about her. As long as her husband remains actively faithful in their marriage, she can easily do without the endearing online posts.
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When it comes down to it, the old saying that actions speak louder than words is not without reason.
Molly realized that feeling envious of social media posts was her problem and not her husband’s. This realization was, however, only possible after she understood that his faithfulness and loving actions were worth more than social media posts.
A woman’s desire to be boasted about on social media is not the responsibility of her spouse to satiate. And this is particularly the case seeing as at the end of the day such a desire is just irrational envy. Molly admits that she ought to feel more than secure about herself and how he truly feels about her. Her sense of security should stem from her husband’s actions in their relationship.
As such, he should not have to broadcast his feelings for the world to see. Molly continues to remind herself that her husband put a ring on her finger. Before God and their families, her husband promised he would be the best man he could for her. Because he continually sacrifices himself for his family, herself included, Molly wonders what more she should feel bold enough to request.
These occurrences got Molly thinking. Sitting around getting mushy or nostalgic feelings, and the urge to post yet another memory might be wasteful. Instead, showing her love for her husband in a way that speaks to him might be more beneficial. She could whip him a batch of those homemade cookies he likes, or surprise him with some physical affection at the door after work. It might also play out better if she told him how honored she is to be his wife instead of posting it online.
Apart from Molly not needing her husband to brag about her on social media, he also does not need her to. Molly and her husband can find security in the everyday acts of service they make for their marriage and each other. Online posts and public declarations are not worth more than the simple acts of love couples share.