5 Reasons Your Wife’s Not Sleeping With You
There’s no lovemaking like newly married lovemaking. Even if you’ve been together for years, it’s the most exciting right after you exchange your vows and become husband and wife. Unfortunately, the newness of being a married couple eventually wears off, life takes over and you’re stuck wondering what happened to you and your wife. Where is that passion and that fire that you had in the beginning?
It’s not always a bad thing to move into a way of life that’s more familiar and more comfortable, but it can be disappointing to realize that your wife is no longer interested in sleeping with you. Before you jump to conclusions or begin panicking that she’s no longer in love with you, ask yourself if you might be the reason she’s not sleeping with you anymore. According to a survey conducted by Redbook Magazine and Psychology Today, 60% of women want closeness just as much as men. If yours does not seem interested in making love with you, it’s probably you.
You Don’t Show Her Affection Anymore
It’s easy to come home at the end of the day and forget to kiss your wife. Perhaps she’s busy in the kitchen or you’re both running the kids all over the place and don’t have time for any affection. Once the kids are in bed you fall onto the couch and grab your phone, perusing the internet and relaxing like you haven’t all day long.
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What you’re not doing is paying attention to your wife. You’re not doing anything to show her she’s important to you, and it hurts. When was the last time you sent her flowers or did something sweet for her? When was the last time you told her she’s beautiful and lovely? When was the last time you showed her any affection? The more you show, the more she will want to show you her affection in return.
She Suspects You’re Cheating On Her
If your wife suspects you’re being unfaithful to her, you have far bigger problems than this. However, you can cheat on her in other ways. Are you going out after work to play sports with the guys and leaving her home to care for the kids and the house? Are you spending more time golfing than you are with the family? When she feels your attention is being given to something else other than her, she feels cheated on. This feeling does not lead to closeness.
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You’re Not Helping Enough with the Kids or the House
When you grow up and have kids and a life, it’s hard not to feel exhausted. If she is the one who is caring for these things without much help, though, she’s likely holding on to a bit of resentment. You’re partners in these things, and she wants some help with the day-to-day. There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who gets up and does the dishes without being asked. There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who doesn’t assume it’s his wife’s job to handle the kids at bed time or dinner or bath time. Get up, help out and watch the love return to your marriage in a heartbeat.
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According to Dr. Pysch Mom, when you’re selfish, your wife doesn’t want to be near you. Take, for example, a woman who puts forth the effort to look gorgeous for a night out with her husband. When she comes down the stairs in her new dress and high heels hoping her husband’s eyes widen with appreciation, she is disheartened to hear him ask how much that dress cost (and why can’t you just wear one you already have?). It’s a selfish question that has everything to do with you and nothing to do with her; and it’s not the way to find some closeness in your marriage.
You Don’t Make the Effort
Your wife is not make love with you, and you let it go. You assume she will come around, but you have no idea she is waiting for you to make the first move. Perhaps you’ve been distracted lately and have no initiated lovemeking. She feels it’s because you no longer find her attractive, you feel that she’s been in such a bad mood lately you’ll let her get over it and tiptoe around her so as not to make things work. Now you’re both upset with one another but no one has mentioned it. You have to make the effort. She wants you to want her, and she wants you to show her how much you want her.
At the end of the day, simply asking your wife why she’s not interested in sleeping with you is the best way to handle the issue. Communication is key in any relationship, and that includes those moments in which closeness feels few and far between. If she’s not into you, you could be the problem; but you’ll never know unless you ask her to open up.