How to break up without hurting yourself

How to break up without hurting yourself.

We have to acknowledge that infatuation can make us unrealistic. Sometimes we are trying to make a relationship work, but get trapped in senseless selfish spirals that hurt us. We know we should end the relationship, stop seeing that person. It can be difficult, breaking up and moving on is sometimes the only solution for ending suffering, pain, and unhappiness. It’s always better to break up without hurting yourself.

pre divorce counseling

The lack of common goals, constant fighting, and trust issues are signs of romantic erosion. People avoid ending toxic relationships for a variety of reasons, including fear of loneliness, co-dependence, lack of self-esteem, fear of bad endings, or because they get something they need like closeness or money, but they are hurting themselves.

Building a strong relationship is not easy, it requires a great deal of integrity, coherence, responsibility, maturity, and dedication. However there are some things that are unforgivable, that destroy relationships, like infidelity or domestic violence.

This article will give you some recommendations on the best attitudes and actions to a healthy breakup.  A smooth transition towards a new life is what we expect when we want to stop seeing someone, these lessoons work to that end.

break up without hurting

* Always to end a relationship personally. If you want to do things right, like an adult, sit with your partner and speak in a calm voice.  Never break up with someone via email, Facebook, a text message, or a phone call.

* A note of caution: If you think your partner could hurt you, just leave, call a shelter or hotline for helpful advice for doing this, do not put yourself, or your friends, in danger.

* Choose a private place to talk, don’t humiliate your partner by breaking up where others can see tears and pain. This is not a theater, it’s real life, choose a neutral place where you can speak freely without interruptions.

* It’s nice to mention some positive qualities about your partner. Keep it friendly and respectful. Justify the end of the relationship, give them valid reasons, cause and effect. Rely on your instincts, thoughts, and values. Try to avoid placing blame, making your partner feel inadequate, or bringing up old history. Explain how you feel and why it is important to make a change.

* A long explanation is unnecessary, and can be more painful, keep it brief and direct. Write things out on paper first if you feel it will help.

* Be clear in your intentions, don’t leave them with false hope, like the possibility of coming back if things change. You have a history, their pain will be hard for you, another good reason to keep it brief.

* Don’t run away aright after making your point, even though you’re ending the relationship express your concern for the future welfare and happiness of the other person, and make sure it’s right before you leave. If possible pick a time when the person is not already suffering from a loss, that of a job or close friend or relative, if they constantly have drama don’t stick around for years, you will end up disliking yourself and your partner.

letting go break up
 

Source: How to Break Up Gracefully by Denisse Mann.