If you are in a long term relationship say marriage, you can reminisce those early “honeymoon” days when you and your spouse could literally not take your hands off each other. Unfortunately, no matter how exciting these escapades were, there come days, weeks, months or even years when you don’t feel like putting in the effort to make love to your spouse anymore.
In this piece, we beg to engage in a controversial discussion of whether one should make love to their spouse when they don’t want to.
A decrease in libido in men and women is very normal, so don’t fret. As a matter of fact, WebMD and University of Chicago Professor Edward O. Laumann offers plausible culprits that have driven a wedge between spouses romantically over the years including finances, lack of communication, sleep, busy schedules, stress etc.
We cannot magically make you feel aroused by the sight of your spouse but we can encourage you to go on the path of rediscovery.
What do we mean?
Take the plunge– Take your time to rediscover what turns you on, configure new things you would like to try and re-ignite the ecstasy and adventure in your bedroom. Therefore, the next time your spouse wants to make love and you are not in the mood, simply think of some exciting things to try igniting the passion.
In addition, in the event you feel overwhelmed with work, demands of others or the kids, try talking to your spouse about what you are facing as this can help ease the pressure. In fact, research shows that spouses who talk about the issues they are dealing with on the regular help elevate their desire and drive and thus improving their lovemaking.
You can also try to switch up things by taking up different roles in the bedroom.
How you may ask?
Simple, try changing your status quo in the bedroom, by playing a different role from the one you have been previously accustomed to. This is guaranteed to make you excited not to mention spice up things for you and your partner even if you don’t want to engage in lovemaking at first.
Remind yourself of your spouse’s positive virtues, character, and love for you. Studies have shown that spouses with a high love making communal strength – being motivated to fulfill their partners’ needs even when not in the mood or without a prompt reciprocation often make their spouses feel more satisfied with their relationship.
This means that spouses who engage in lovemaking to please their partners gained numerous benefits including satisfaction and delight in seeing their spouse happy which in turn led to their satisfaction.
As libido inevitably waxes and wanes over the course of any relationship, it is important for all spouses to be mutually responsive to each other’s desires in the relationship to help ensure satisfaction.