Stealing Someone Else’s Partner? Probably Not a Good Idea
Here’s Why Stealing Someone Else’s Partner Doesn’t Work:
We’ve all heard the old adage: one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. While it may not always apply or even ostensibly apply to relationships at all, it does in the sense that many people stop dating the person who likely considers them “trash” (their eventual ex) for a person who considers them “treasure” (the new person they’re dating). The allure of having someone value them anew is all too enticing.
In simple terms, sans an analogy, this phenomenon would simply describe an individual leaving one paramour for another. It is commonly termed “poaching.” Unfortunately, the success rates of relationships that are directly subsequent to a previous are lower than you’d likely expect. This article will highlight the problems inherent in poaching.
A recent study by the Journal of Research In Personality found that people who left their previous partner for a new person felt less satisfied, less committed, and less invested in their relationships.
This study, which involved 138 heterosexual individuals over a period of up to 36 months, also left those who were poached more susceptible to cheating and feeling less committed to the relationship.
For better or worse, some seem to have the “poaching” mentality or personality. People who fall under this classification are less likely to be empathetic, and more likely to be narcissistic. They will leave a stable relationship for a riskier one, or will go after someone in a stable relationship. If you think this might be you, you can take precautions to avoid making irrational, rash decisions.
Per the study, poachers tend to pay more attention to romantic alternatives, perceive alternatives to be better than their current partner, and engage in more infidelity.
All in all, it is probably smarter to go the traditional route for dating, as there are many correlations to poor consequences resulting from poaching and mate stealing. At least don’t say you didn’t know better if you still decide to go down this route.
On a final note, it should be pointed out that this is just one study, and therefore, findings may change over time. For example, one thing that might be found is that the rules are different for homosexuals– this study only sampled heterosexuals.