How to Become Sociable
By Andre Carvajal
Edited By: Stephanie Dawson
Being more sociable is a process that takes time, it isn’t going to happen all at once. It won’t take years or even months, but its necessary to know the right tools to change and improve patterns.
One of the more common obstacles we have when it comes to being more sociable is the fear of approaching others. Most people feel anxiety when approaching someone they don’t know, a fear of starting conversations with strangers or those you don’t know well.
Its not bad to feel fear or to uncomfortable when meeting someone for the first time, its something completely natural and you may feel nervous if you have little experience approaching others. Once you build confidence you can learn to do things without too much effort. Although nervousness at the beginning is normal, extreme nervousness can lead to avoidance of others.
You can deal with approaching anxiety by starting small talks with anyone, you can start with the lady at the grocery store or someone else you randomly pick. On most occasions when you see someone interesting and you want to talk to them you may struggle with what to say. Many imagine a dialogue in their head, while others like to use catch phrases or clichés from books, movies, or from their friends. Most catch phrases won’t work.
The trick is to try to speak as fast as you can with that person. Don’t hesitate to speak, don’t try to look overconfident, we are not trying to fool the person. This is not about impressing another person, only trying to start small talk. Small talk involves listening and speaking, an ice breaker. You can use humor, an observation of the surroundings, or anything else. Humor can be effective, but there is a chance that you end up laughing alone, or not taken seriously.
Don’t compliment a girl’s physical attractiveness, use something more subtle but still related to their attributes. Depending on context, characteristics of the person, cultural background, or any information you might know about that person, use these topics to start a conversation.
One common situation is trying to start a conversation and be ignored, or they seem distant. When case this happens know that its not always a good moment to interact with a stranger. We don’t know what the circumstances are, it may be best to let it go. Don’t overthink it, just act. If things are not as expected, don’t be disappointed, there is always a second chance, or the chance to speak with someone else in other circumstances. If you fail the first time, try again, a positive attitude goes a long way.