I keep trying to educate about more love, what the benefits of love do for you as a person, and how to bring more love into your life. It’s true that you attract into your life what you give out, so I keep trying to give more love. Love and compassion are my job, my mission in life. I used to say that I was a mom first, a nurse second, and a bartender 3rd, but I do the same thing in all 3 places, love people and try to make them feel better, at least for a bit.
I feel sometimes like I am drowning in hate and anger, there is so much of it out there in the world. I see things that hurt me every day, I pray about it, and try to react with love, but I realized there are many times I react from a place that is not filled with love, it’s filled with fear, and sometimes anger. I realized this when some mean spirited posts hurt me and I read them to my daughter, we then made comments that made us feel better, and made us laugh, only out loud to each other of course, and while venting is healthy, I wanted to go deeper, and see why that bothered me.
Last night my son and his wife mentioned, in casual conversation, that they are making a trip over the weekend to see some friends and their new baby, we had discussed several times going together, so I reacted from pain and fear. I had to do some serious thinking about why that bothered me, I am a full-grown woman and perfectly capable of making the 2 hour drive myself, I still have lots of friends there, they are young and naturally want to spend time with young friends, and they are their own family unit, they do not need to ask my approval or run their plans by me. So why did it bother me?
A man that I know, that has been trying to date me since he got divorced, calls once in a while. Last time he called he mentioned he now has a live-in girlfriend. I have never wanted to date this guy, my kids don’t care for him, and yet this news initially upset me. It makes no sense.
I have been doing some serious thinking, and praying, on this subject, trying to figure out why things bother me that should not. My conclusion is, more love. I am not treating others, or myself, with enough love. It is not my place to judge people and why they do the things they do, perhaps they are reacting from a place of pain and fear as well. Maybe they really cannot stand being alone. Maybe, it doesn’t matter, to me, at all, and I just need to take a step back, a deep breath, and realize that my place in the world is secure.
Whether or not other people need or want me, or my thoughts, in their life, is not my concern. My job is to be a child of God and project love, feel love, breathe love in and out, so that hopefully, it reaches the ones who need and want it, and always, so that it reaches myself. Yep, more love, it makes the world a more beautiful place.